Relationships are both simple and complex. Simple because that is how they can actually be but in the majority of cases aren’t; and complex because we are complex beings with different life experiences that we each bring into our relationship without being aware of it. It is exactly this complex side of ourselves that if we took the necessary to time to get to know more fully we would then develop a sounder relationship with oneself. When we have a sounder relationship with ourselves this is when we are in the best position to have improved relations with another.
“A healthy relationship is typically thought of as being based on trust, respect, compromise,support, communication and physical intimacy.”
Whereas the recipe for a relationship that is on the brink of falling apart is based on the opposite of these values, or in some cases are abusive and filled with accusations and different forms of humiliations. There are many people who find themselves in a relationship that they are convinced is a healthy one when it turns out that either of the partners find themselves being of a deeply possessive type without their own awareness of it. The very notion that either one of the people in a relationship are convinced that the other person is their own possession is a clear indication of an unhealthy relationship even though the people inside the relationship might not necessarily even realize it since it somehow either fills a void or simply validates an unconscious idea the person has about him/herself.
If you have ever heard of the Stockholm Syndrome, you will understand how complex our human nature is. This is a very common phenomenon observed in victims of kidnapping or in hostage-taking who develop positive feelings towards their captors, sometimes to the point of defending and identifying with the captors.
For other people, they don’t seem to be able to have a lasting relationship with anyone for various reasons for instance fear of commitment, having unrealistic expectations, being either too absent or too overwhelming because of jealousy, not having enough of ‘MY’ space and the list goes on.
The secret to a healthy couple relationship or any other relationship is based on developing a healthy relationship with oneself. All couple issues are related to a poor understanding of oneself which leads either partner to react in one way or the other towards the other. Blaming, accusing and getting back at the other are common negative cycles most people that struggle in their relationship will be engaged in.
Our Choices Retreats program is an ideal opportunity for a couple to work through their issues, get to know themselves better and learn evidence based strategies to build themselves on healthier grounds in a non-judgmental atmosphere.
Choices Retreats for long lasting change could be the best thing you choose to do for yourself and your partner.